Thursday mornings on the Karen and Ralphie morning show, Karen gives some personal advice. It’s ask Karen! From problems big and small, Karen gives her take on life, love, work and everything in between! If you’re interested in asking Karen a question, click here.
The Question
Dear Karen,
I have been dating a guy for about a year he’s 38 and I’m 31 we get along great and our relationship is in a good place. We’ve talked about getting married one day but nothing really beyond brief conversations about it here and there.
We don’t currently live together but I stay over a lot at his place in Bourne. The other day I was doing laundry at his house and when I was putting his clothes away…I saw a box in his draw…it was a ring box! It wasn’t wrapped so I opened it. It was an engagement ring! My heart sank. Of course I knew the ring was for me. The receipt was still in the box so I know what he paid for it and it was a lot.
So here’s the thing…I am not ready to get engaged let alone get married. I can see myself with him one day but I am in no rush and want to date him a little longer before I take that step.
I have a feeling he’s going to propose on Christmas when our families are all together. I know I’m going to say “no” (or at least “not now”)
So do I tell him I found the ring and let him know my feelings in advance so it’s not uncomfortable for him in front of everyone.
I feel terrible about this but I am just not ready to get engaged right now.
Please let me know what you would do…if it were you Karen.
Thanks!
Kelly
Karen’s Answer
Hi Kelly,
If you think he is going to propose to you on Christmas in front of your family and you are going to say “no” you have to tell him in advance so he is not blindsided.
I would make sure you tell him what you told ME. That you CAN see yourself with him one day but just not now.
Who knows maybe he wasn’t going propose for a quite awhile.
I think you really need to be sensitive to his feelings but also true to yourself.
If you truly have very strong feelings for him…make sure he knows that. Maybe you could say to him being engaged to him is something you want to work towards. If he loves you…he will understand and he will wait for you.
Let me know how it all works out.
Karen
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Disclaimer:
The advice offered in this column is intended for entertainment purposes only. Use of this column not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed professional, physician or mental health professional. This column, its author, and its company are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.
